2) Nearly everyone hates the beginning stages of building those friendships as they are often in filled with small talk, awkward moments, uncertain feelings and lots of energy depletion with near-strangers.3) And finally, that there is no way to get to those deep and meaningful places with people we love without going through the stages of getting together with strangers that we don't yet know that well.But if you find yourself without the friends you crave, then you might want to try another way.Many people love the online approach, as it automatically attracts those who live near you who also value new friends which increases your chances of connecting with other who will make the time and have the interest. There’s the overwhelming sense of failure that comes with openly saying ‘I don’t have enough friends and I’d quite like more.’ That’s why we hesitate when we encounter someone we think is cool, have a lovely chat, and want to ask for their number so we can hang out again. Asking someone to be your friend – or even to spend time together in a friendly way – feels terrifying. There’s the worry that they’ll think you’re hitting on them.The advantages of maximizing where we already spend our time is that those relationships are easier to grow if we are in close proximity or more frequent contact.
In other words, you may not silence the fear, and that's OK. But remember, a friendship website is just a tool, just as a party or a telephone both can be -- they in and of themselves are not good or bad or untrustworthy, they are simply one other way to connect with people.Every relationship has to start at the beginning with two people who have never danced together,which means all of us will have our insecurities.You are not alone -- even the outgoing, beautiful, confident, successful women among us have the voice of the critic telling them they are not enough.Ultimately, the important thing isn't to worry about how you get those friends you crave as much as it is to find the tools that work for you.When you’re single and you don’t want to be, the next steps feel pretty obvious. It’s why we stumble when it comes to taking a work-based friendship outside of the office.
In my book, I talk about this a lot in the context of defining courage and understanding how we can minimize our vulnerability by doing it incrementally so that it may feel a little safer as trust is being built. I compare Girl Friend Circles.com-- the online female friendship site I founded -- to a health club.