Thousands of people have done it, and I am going to do it. I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. You can also give a personal touch to these headlines, because everyone's profile has something unique about them.
Business Student: What do you say to a customer who wants to leave you for the convenience and savings of a nationwide chain?
Michael Scott: I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. I ate more fettuccini Alfredo and drank less water than I have in my entire life.
Ryan Howard:  Did this happen on company property? It was on company property with company property, so double jeopardy. Ryan Howard: I don’t think you understand how jeopardy works. People always talk about triumphs of the human spirit. That’s why everybody was applauding for me at the end, my guts and my heart. At various times you gave Jim 10 points, Dwight a gold star, and Stanley a thumbs-up.
That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at. “Crime reduces innocence, makes everyone angry, I declare.” Michael Scott: I’m an early bird and I’m a night owl.
When Amy Poehler and Will Arnett announced their divorce last year, it felt like the whole nation mourned in solidarity. Brilliant, kind and hilarious, Amy wins us over without effort. We want nothing more than to see Leslie Knope happy and successful, just as we want to see Ron Swanson miserable and fighting with Tammy I.
And while I eventually puked my guts out, I never puked my heart out. Michael Scott: Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate. Also, he’s divorced, so he’s really not a part of his family. And I don’t really know how to compare those units.