The experience of shame is humiliating and includes feeling a sense of disgust and mortification about the self.Both men and women experience feelings of shame around sexual issues but for different reasons.For men, shame issues are directly related to sexual performance, and definitions of masculinity. There is just no pretending; He either ejaculates or he does not.For the male, part of sexual performance has to do with getting and maintaining an erection. If he fails to ejaculate he feels less like a real man.How can a father be engaged in fathering his children if he is locked in his office at home spending countless hours viewing porno sites on the internet?More than just viewing porn, these men are also masturbating. Why do otherwise good fathers and husbands engage in this self-isolating sexual behavior when they have a willing sexual partner available?
They have expressed the belief that they are not attractive enough, or desirable enough, or sexy enough.
Would it not be better to try and understand what is happening here between males and females and, through that understanding, develop better ways to cope with this problem?
Part of the reason why women are so angry about internet pornography is that it takes their men away from the family and from themselves.
This is such a visible aspect of masculinity and is so very obvious that any males who doubt their masculinity struggle with the question of whether their erection is large enough to attract and satisfy women. If he fails to get and maintain an erection he feels less like a real man.
If the male ejaculates before he enters the woman he feels less like a real man and if he ejaculates too soon after entering the woman and thus, deprives the woman of her orgasm, he feels like a failure.