It was only once I began to get a better sense of my own interests — taking writing classes, identifying as a climate activist — that I felt my identity as a twin receding to the background of who I was.IBut even with separate life experiences — different colleges, friends, interests — to help them draw those lines, the process of creating boundaries around the self isn’t always easy.I was used to something more: I wanted someone to understand me instantly, and often without words, the way my twin would.Obviously, it’s not exactly a realistic need — which means that as a twin, it can be an ongoing effort to keep your relationship expectations in check.Especially in childhood, maintaining closeness and harmony between twins can be hard work.
“Only now, well into my adult life, have I recognized how so much of my frustration with relationships has been because I expect to be able to connect with and understand others as I do my twin.”, is that that the need for a deeper connection can help to foster greater levels of empathy in twins.It’s a tough act to follow." data-reactid="31"an intense training ground for building close relationships, one that teaches us to value emotional intimacy and then to work extra hard to find it.Having an “other half” may be a fantasy, but by beginning life automatically bonded to another person, we’ve gotten as close as anyone can. When you’re a twin, it’s hard not to notice how fascinated the rest of the world is by your sibling relationship.The two of us can speak from direct experience: Barbara has an identical twin sister and Amanda has a fraternal twin brother, and we’ve both spent much of our lives fielding questions about what it’s like to share a life with someone you once shared a womb with.
“By the time they’re 1 or 2, they’re like an old married couple,” writer Patricia Malmstrom explained in her book . They know that they have to live together.”study, for instance, found that twins who had a strong bond with each other also reported more intimate relationships with others.