Children who were abused, targets of corporal punishment at the hands of parents, or who were otherwise mistreated gain joy out of pornography by identifying themselves with the sadist in these photos and movies.In other words, they become the masters and the women become the slaves.None of this is mean to imply that the men who watch pornography have these problems.It does imply that many men fear that these things could happen.It goes without saying that masturbation occurs in isolation, at least under these circumstances, and the wife or partner is not involved in this solo activity. Why do so many men view porn in private and keep it secret from their wives, even from those wives who are willing partners in jointly viewing pornography as a "turn on" preceding foreplay and intercourse? One of the reasons why men who are married, engaged to be married, or have a girl friend with whom they are sexually active, engage in the viewing of pornography in secret has to do with an emotion we recently visited called shame.
The comments express outrage, hurt, puzzlement, and confusion about what goes on with their men.
For men, shame issues are directly related to sexual performance, and definitions of masculinity. There is just no pretending; He either ejaculates or he does not.
For the male, part of sexual performance has to do with getting and maintaining an erection. If he fails to ejaculate he feels less like a real man.
All of these are tests of masculinity for these adolescent men.
Many boys become interested in weight lifting magazines with photos of muscular men whom they wish to emulate as a way of demonstrating their masculine prowess. According to Robert Stoller, a psychoanalyst and researcher on sexual issues and pornography, the role of pornography is to serve as the reverse of life events that occurred during childhood.
There are many noteworthy things to say about the responses we have gotten so far on this issue of pornography but three questions stand out in my mind at this moment: 1.