What they don’t realize is, they have a right to a life of their own.
Parenting is supposed to be a time-limited function and we are not suppose to nurture our own parents.
If his marriage survives his separation from his mother (guilt), he and his wife will be able to have more of the marriage they dreamed of.
Number one, she has little or nothing to give, and number two, you (wife) are the competitor (in her mind at least) for her son’s adoration and affections.
Number three, unfortunately, you can’t really make up for past love-life disappointment by getting an adult person to ‘parent’ you.
The complication from the son’s side is, not wanting to let go of his mother.
Some men reach adulthood but they are not yet finished with their mothers.
It’s healthier to heal the hurt as loss and learn how to make the best life for yourself with mature forms of love as an adult person.