You listen attentively to the sadder-but-wiser man who says of his experience on the singles scene: We let the gems escape, and we adorn the swine with imaginary virtues.Sex and the Midlife Single You cringe at the idea of yet another discussion of AIDS and safe sex and yet you recognize, with shock, that an alarming number of people change sexual partners as though there is nothing to worry about.Many of us who have ended long-term relationships take our time getting to those midlife first dates.
Saving Face Friends say they will fix you up or even call you to go to a movie, but after a while they dont. And while youre at it, you might as well find a new set of friends, friends with whom you can discuss common concerns such as the etiquette of dating Who invites whom? Meanwhile, your old friends have advice: Get out of the house. You are afraid that going to a singles event will mark you as needy, pathetic, a loser.Often it has to do with defects in your selection mechanism like the duck who, emerging from an egg, sees a mother dog and concludes he must be a dog.The analogy is not perfect, but if you are too eager to be one of the couples on Noahs Ark, you may jump in line with a rat, a weasel, or a gooney bird.Mastering la Carte Months go by, and after your initial pain, embarrassment and panic at having failed in a relationship, you begin to feel whole again, sometimes even joyous.Free of the compromises you made in your marriage, for the first time in your life you begin to realize who you are, who you arent, and what you want out of life.
One woman talks about getting stuck in the divorce process being divorced to her ex. The women want to see whats beneath the surface and dont like to feel they are being inspected, as in a meat market.